by Kathi Bishop
“Are things getting normal for you?” she asked me. “Yes, I guess things are getting normal.” The new normal is life.
Time has helped.
Grieving is multifaceted. Understanding how I grieve, what I need while I’m grieving and triggers to watch for, are what I’m learning. Intentionally slowing down, sticking to a consistent schedule, and being home has been good.
Talking to God has been the best.
My friend Mireille tells me, “Grieving means you have loved. And it’s very good to have loved so much that you grieve.” Hmm. Need to rethink. Grief has meant self-centeredness, self pity, self loathing notice the common word? Self. I’ve found the one thing Kathi Bishop does not need more of: Kathi Bishop. The prevailing attitude be nice to me my friend just died has been the clog. I have been demanding of others so that I can move. Inward focus and preoccupation with self has proved to be a loser.
So what wins?
I have loved someone. “Love is from God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8. I’m going on an endeavor to find grace.
God is love. “Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” 1 John 4:16
In this grace hunt I find God easing the sadness with His tender mercies. Slowly, day by day my soul seeks freedom. Free to move forward, free to care again, free to open my heart and live in love. God wins. And if God wins then so do I.